on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
