so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
