I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
