I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
