Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
