New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
