I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
