I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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