I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
