youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
