she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
