she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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