Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My bed smells like the plague
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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