i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
