good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
