You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
vagina is talking i cant
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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