i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
