Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
