i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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