If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Randomize
