You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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