I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
