But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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