I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
