just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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