At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
