Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
