when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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