maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
