Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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