I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
