dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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