My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
