Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
