No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
