Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
