in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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