Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
