I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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