I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
