hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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