Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
