are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Green mimosas i think yes
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
