Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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