You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If that was your dad, he is hot
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
