Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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