Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
