worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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