god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
