I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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