Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
