Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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