This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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